Tonight I was going through my closet and trying on old clothes that I don’t wear anymore… I felt really shitty about it, my body has changed quite a bit since I stopped running 10 miles daily… I haven’t really gained weight, just lost muscle mass and I can tell things are just more loose and I really see it as a weight gain… It’s a weird mind of a girl. I’ve gained some cool things in some cool spots and some not so cool things in others. ANYWAYS as shitty as I felt… Matto loved everything I put on and even thinks it’s the best I’ve looked, I mean he tells me all the time I’m his idea of perfect, and the most beautiful girl in the world. Really what more do I need??? Nothing. I need nothing, and I’m so happy my idea of the perfect guy thinks I’m the most perfect girl, even when I feel less than. It’s a really great feeling to know you’re loved for exactly who you are, to know that your flaws (flaws are not real, they are a figment of your imagination) you hate are the very things that make the person you love, love you so much.., it’s weird but I feel super lucky. For the longest time I thought I was being naive, but everyday Matto continues to prove that he loves me and only me, for all that I am and all that I am not. It’s seriously a magical life and I’m not sure what I did to deserve it.
Kurt and Frances (only one month old)